How many remember this poster from the 1970s? And how many thought that law-breaking Will Patrons was a real person

Most swimmers of a certain age will remember the ‘Will Patrons Kindly Refrain From…’ poster which used to be on prominent display in every pool up and down the country. Encouraging us to avoid the less social habits of bombing, pushing, petting and smoking (!), it highlighted the more obvious no-nos which can spoil a good swim.

However, there are other unwritten rules which can help prevent a pleasant swim from becoming a battle of wills or have you heading for an early shower frustrated by the thoughtlessness of other pool users. Goggleblog has done a straw poll to find the top five gripes among regular swimmers.

1) Ignoring the faster swimmer behind you - The one complaint we hear more than any other is fast swimmers being held up by slower swimmers. There is nothing more frustrating than watching the plodding swimmer in front of you push straight off from the wall despite the fact that you are right behind them. This leaves you with no option but to swim a frustratingly slow length behind them, catching their toes every other stroke while desperately looking for a big enough gap to ensure you can get round them without head butting the unsuspecting swimmer coming in the opposite direction!

2) Choosing the wrong lane – We all like to thing we are the next Michael Phelps or Rebecca Adlington, but chances are most of us don’t even come close. However, this does not stop us choosing the fast lane because this is where we think we should be! As a general rule, breaststroke and backstroke are probably best reserved for the slow or medium lanes. And if you swim with your face out of the water then the fast lane probably isn’t for you. Conversely if you are a speedy frontcrawler do not even contemplate getting in the slow lane. If you have come to do a few lengths of breaststroke at a relaxed pace there is nothing more annoying than some inconsiderate person powering past you, churning up the pool and spoiling your peaceful swim.

3) Swimming butterfly at peak times – OK, so you may have been the school butterfly champion but a busy pool packed with people trying to have an enjoyable swim is not the place to show off your fly skills. Unless you have your own pool, butterfly is a stroke best kept for the quieter off peak times when there are only a couple of other swimmers around. Try it at any other time and you can be fairly sure that people are not stopping and staring because they are awestruck by your ability to move gracefully through the water like a dolphin but because you have displaced most of the water from the pool and nearly drowned them!

4) Forgetting that you brought the kids along with you - We’ve all been tempted to try and fit in a cheeky few lengths in the lanes now the kids are competent enough swimmers not to drown if you take your eyes off them. But there is nothing worse than the parent ploughing up and down the pool seemingly oblivious to the fact that their off-spring are causing havoc. Don’t pretend you can’t see them swimming underwater and popping up in the middle of the lanes beneath unsuspecting and increasingly irate strangers, having woggle fights in the middle of the pool or throwing floats at each other.

5) Swimming side by side chatting – Swimming is a fairly solitary sport. You get in, you swim your designated number of lengths, you get out. Swimming side by side in the lanes having a good old chinwag is probably the most annoying thing you can do. Not only do you swim much more slowly when you are talking as well, noone can get past you while you are two a-breast. More importantly, one of you is swimming in the wrong direction and at some point there will be another swimmer coming the other way who will be forced to stop or risk a concussion. You wouldn’t drive on the wrong side of the road so please keep to the right side of the lane and keep socialising for after your swim.

Do you have a swimming faux pas that we haven’t covered, something that really makes your blood boil or gets your speedos in a twist. Let us know by emailing totallyswimming@googlemail.com.

By Wendy Knowles

Contrary to what some people believe, swimming more efficiently – and faster – isn’t about thrashing up and down making as big a splash as possible. We’ve all seen those big muscly swimmers who kick their legs like it’s an outboard motor, only to tire after a few lengths (by which time they’ve normally annoyed everyone else in the pool).

If you want to improve your stroke you need to learn a few basic techniques and keep practising! Unlike many other sports where physical power is really important, swimming is first and foremost about technique and learning to work with the natural resistance of the water to make your body as streamlined as possible. Only then will you start to swim faster and more efficiently.

The best swimmers I’ve seen are those that look graceful from the poolside as if they are doing very little. Only when you take a closer look at their stroke underneath the water do you realise the work they are putting into moving their body efficiently and gracefully through the water.

Here we offer a few tips which should help you improve your front crawl technique whether you just want to swim to keep fit or are training for an event like this year’s Swimathon!

1) Breathe : There’s no getting around it, breathing is important! I’ve found poorer swimmers tend to do one of two things: either they hold their breath for too long (often up to an entire length) or they wave their head around in their air which can be really damaging to the neck muscles. Learning to breathe when swimming crawl is more challenging than other strokes like breast stroke and especially backstroke where obviously your head is out of the water the whole time. But, generally, you should practise gently turning your head to the side so that you take in just enough air and then breathe out just before lifting your head out of the water to take in more air. You should aim to breathe every two strokes if you turn your head to the same side or every three strokes (bi-lateral breathing) if you wish to turn to alternate sides. Bi-lateral breathing is handy for open water swimming when you need to see what’s going on around you, but breathing every two strokes is best in the pool – ideally switching the side you breath after each length.

2) Swim tall: It’s important to look as tall as possible when doing front crawl. The best swimmers aren’t necessarily those who are the tallest (though height does help), but those who swim like they are the tallest. This means you should stretch your body as much as possible – pushing through underneath the water with your arms as far as possible. Generally the fewer strokes you take to swim a length the better!

3) Move those hips! Basically if you are swimming crawl you need to think of yourself as a racing yacht rather than a paddle steamer. This means learning to swivel your hips, swimming slightly on your side in order to propel yourself through the water with greatest efficiency while still keeping your body straight (see above). This doesn’t mean rolling around from side to side, a gentle movement of the hips is all that’s required!

4) Keep those legs straight – Again this seems a really common fault with novice swimmers. I always imagine that someone has tied my knees together and try to restrict kicking to my ankles. Some of the best swimmers I’ve seen barely seem to move their legs at all with the rest of the body doing all the work to propel them through the water.

4) Relax - Let the water take the strain. There is no point trying to fight it. Develop a rhythm when you are in the water and try to practise your technique as much as possible.

See Duncan Goodhew’s Top Training Tips here.

Useful videos:

Olympic swimming champion Duncan Goodhew carries former Blue Peter host and Dancing on Ice contestant aloft to mark the official launch of Swimathon 2010. The lucky beggar!

What does Swimathon mean to you?

DG: I still find the event incredibly exciting. The root of this must be how it enables normal people to do extraordinary things. Everyone’s challenge is very much their own – but not only do their efforts benefit themselves, they benefit their country and the charities.

Being part of something that gives swimmers a very well earned excuse to celebrate feels good. Supporting good causes and helping them further their worthwhile work really means something to me.

I believe in swimming and I absolutely love anything that motivates people to dive into their local pool.

Why do you think Swimathon has been so successful?

DG: For swimmers, the variety of the challenges on offer is key. That, and the fact that whilst you may only walk round the corner from your house to take part, you know that you’re actually contributing to an enormous nationwide event. A lot of people – even though they may not know it – are on the look out for an excuse to raise lots of money for good causes. Swimathon helps these people scratch that itch and rightfully become local heroes.

This is similar for the pools: they like to be able to help charities in a bigger way than they usually can. The event also helps them to engage with current and new swimmers in a different way than their regular diet of membership offers, swim lessons and the like.

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Las Vegas' 50m university pool, the Buchanan Natatorium, was completed ahead of schedule and under budget

Today I read two stories about new swimming pools. One is in Las Vegas, the other here in Oxfordshire. As you might expect the stories couldn’t be more different.

The story in The Las Vegas Sun is about how the University (UNLV) has renovated its Buchanan Natatorium Facility for a little under the budgeted $5.5 million and ahead of schedule. Needless to say it is a 50m Olympic sized pool.

Meanwhile over in Oxfordshire a row has broken out over plans to build a new pool adjacent to the Blackbird Lees Leisure Centre by shutting down two pools, the Temple Cowley Pool and the existing Blackbird Leys Pool, both of which are showing signs of ageing after 25 years and will cost around £2.6 million simply to maintain.

The new project, which is described as ‘world class’ by Oxford City Council’s Head of Leisure will cost apparently between £5m and £8 million. But the pool will only be 25m long. To me and many others visitors to the Oxford Mail’s website this seems like a complete missed opportunity.

Says one commentator from Abingdon:

“An 8 lane 25m pool is not world class. Please let us get this straight, Olympic pools are 10 lanes wide and 50m long. We have a successful swimming club in Oxford who have been waiting for a half decent facility since Temple Cowley was refurbished in the mid 80s…Please do not build another half-hearted pool, the people of Oxford/shire want to keep fit and have fun big time!”

Adds Mr Beavis, Sunningwell:

“If you travel to other major cities in this country and look at the facilites they have it makes Oxford look a very second rate city for its residents. Sheffied, Manchester and Portsmouth all have 50 metre pools, during competitons the extra money that comes into the city is a large boost to the economy. This will be a missed opportunity to give the county what it needs and wants.”

The sad fact is that there are only around 20 pools in the UK which are Olympic length and only five that meet Olympic standards (ie. have the necessary ten lanes): Cardiff, Glasgow, Leeds, Sheffield and Sunderland.

Shockingly, the London Aquatics Centre which is due to be built for the London Olympics of 2012, will be the capital’s first indoor Olympic pool (the only others in Ealing and Crystal Palace don’t meet the Olympic criteria.) By contrast both New York and even Paris have seven each and Madrid has four.

So it seems no wonder to me that the UK will struggle to compete in the pool at the 2012 Olympics. As anyone who witnessed the recent Duel in the Pool thrashing there currently seems to be a vast difference between the UK and US teams.

Hardly any surprise when you consider that Las Vegas, a relatively small city with a population of around half a million (slightly more than Liverpool, slightly less than Leeds) has a brand new 50m pool just for its students! And Oxfordshire with a larger population (around 650,000) is having to make do with a handful of 25m pools for all of its residents, some of which are badly in need of repair.